Wednesday, 13 April 2011

What is the criteria for being on reception?

In my mind they should be cheerful, big friendly smile, good at spelling and maths, good problem solver and just generally great with the guests. How come we don't actually employ very many with these characteristics!
Instead we seem to get people who haven't even seen a hotel reception desk before, can't spell or count for toffee, rude and obnoxious to guests, and moan about how hard there 7-3 shift is and there only real concern is what is for staff breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in between.
Now we come onto the dinner booking sheet, this thing totally frazzles there mind. we have a limit of 8 people every quarter of an hour and there is 4 slots for tables of 2. Yet they turn up with a tables of 9, 6, 4 and 3 in one 15 minute slot and wonder why the chefs go crazy. It even says beside the slots maximum of 8 people.
The best has to be though when they type up the dinner menus, I know chefs hand writing isn't the best and I expect some mistakes but i asked one receptionist what a word said and she said "I couldn't read your writing, so I just made a word up!" OMG!!!!!!!

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

The living legend that is the Cheeseman's apprentice!

Now this is a man who came into my life selling cheese from the back of a van. It isn't even dodgy or cheap and I have still a man crush on this man!
I thought I was perverted til I met this boy. He is around 24 nearly married with 2 children but still likes to get his willy wet on his cheese round!( not by me!)
Now I don't condone cheating but this mans stories are legendary and to be honest his soon to be wife should know better, because she had an affair with the cheese man before and after she got married to someone else and the cheese man was even usher at her wedding. She only left her previous husband because the cheese man had got her pregnant.
His tales are legendary and the commis chefs gaze into his eyes with the love of a God.
He tells them how he pops around to see a 50 year old lady every friday and doesn't even really speak to her, just goes in, does the deed (quite roughly he describes) and leaves again until next week. He then tells how he gets a blow job off another girl in the deli store cupboard where he delivers and he always give her a bit of cheese as a thank you.
The best one was he got himself into such a state because he had had sex with a prostitute and thought he had caught Aids, he didn't have any symptoms or anything and he used a condom, he just got it into his head that he had it. He couldn't have sex for weeks it upset him that much but thankfully he is back to his old self now.

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

EHO, Were they bullied at school?

I do believe they were. Now up til now I have had a pretty good relationship with our inspector as he has always been fair with me. I myself know that my kitchen isn't always sparkling and the equipment I use is quite old and tatty, the pans are all carbonized because I can't afford a de-carbonizer, but I am always up to to date with my paper work and as soon as we get a quiet period the kitchen gets a proper deep clean. In the past he has always understood this and let us get on with it.
However yesterday I had a phone call on my day off saying the EHO was in and ripping the kitchen to shreds, throwing away all the equipment that wasn't perfect, saying that cooked meat wasn't supposed to be kept on the top shelf, etc. This was our first quiet day in the last few months and I had left a list for the Kp's to get cleaning. The junior sous chef showed him the list and that we were dealing with it, and he just shrugged his shoulders and basically said "I don't give a fuck!"
I wonder if some chef had give him a hard time earlier that day and i was reaping the rewards or weather his wife had told him she was sleeping with a chef because he was a boring, small cocked ass hole who couldn't give her an orgasm!