Wednesday, 6 April 2011

The living legend that is the Cheeseman's apprentice!

Now this is a man who came into my life selling cheese from the back of a van. It isn't even dodgy or cheap and I have still a man crush on this man!
I thought I was perverted til I met this boy. He is around 24 nearly married with 2 children but still likes to get his willy wet on his cheese round!( not by me!)
Now I don't condone cheating but this mans stories are legendary and to be honest his soon to be wife should know better, because she had an affair with the cheese man before and after she got married to someone else and the cheese man was even usher at her wedding. She only left her previous husband because the cheese man had got her pregnant.
His tales are legendary and the commis chefs gaze into his eyes with the love of a God.
He tells them how he pops around to see a 50 year old lady every friday and doesn't even really speak to her, just goes in, does the deed (quite roughly he describes) and leaves again until next week. He then tells how he gets a blow job off another girl in the deli store cupboard where he delivers and he always give her a bit of cheese as a thank you.
The best one was he got himself into such a state because he had had sex with a prostitute and thought he had caught Aids, he didn't have any symptoms or anything and he used a condom, he just got it into his head that he had it. He couldn't have sex for weeks it upset him that much but thankfully he is back to his old self now.

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