What qualifications do you need to work in a kitchen?

What qualifications do you need to work in a kitchen?ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
That is why anyone who drops out of school, or wants to bum around in the summer, or needs money to feed their drug/alcohol addiction all become Kitchen Porters. When I say all I don't literally mean all, but MOST!
I think there are 3 types of kitchen porters

1. The older person who is reasonably sane, has a mortgage, doesn't want any responsibility and actually takes a bit of pride in their work. We like this kind of KP and will do anything to keep them!
2. The young bum who is between 16-21, whose mum has told him to get a job or wants to go surfing in the summer and needs a job to pay for their weed and alcopops. These people are bearable for 1 summer season, but no more. Sometimes you do get one hidden gem in these though, who you can train up and they become cracking chefs
3. Then there are these, they are the usually between 30-50 years old, and you are quite sure if they are psychotic/serial killer/paedophile or just a bit weird and they are usually eastern European who don't speak much English. You always need one of these in your team because it keeps everyone else on their toes. It also is great for team morale because it gives everyone something to speculate about and wonder what they did in a previous life. It is also great for threatening the commis chefs with because if they don't do as they are told you will lock them in the walk in fridge with the Psycho Kp for half an hour and that usually does the trick.